The Treason Show: The Year That Was 2023

A Festive Message from The Treason Show

So how was it for you? 2023 that is. We here at Treason Towers are assembling our traditional festive ‘Best-of’ edition which is effectively a review of the year mixed with the best sketches and parodies from a years’ worth of Treason Show’s. As you can imagine, it’s quite a task for the writing team (over 30 strong at the last count) as we huddle in our garrets cobbling together our satirical take on the topical shenanigans of 2023. At this rate, we’ll need three separate editions to cover it all, blessed as we are with such a rich menu or venality, corruption and incompetence in the corridors of power. Add to the mix the conflagration that is the 24 hours news-based binfest of celebrity, politics and (anti) social media you could go as far as to call 2023 ‘batshit crazy’ to coin a phrase from the never knowingly misnamed, James Cleverly MP.

The main conclusion we reached at this stage of proceedings was that as ever, we couldn’t move for what Harold Macmillan, on the cusp of being thrown out of office in 1963, said were ‘events, dear boy, events’. Oh boy, have we had some ‘events’ this year. Let’s begin with the inevitable clusterfudge of the state of our politics. This Brexit-infected, septic isle adrift in the shallows of sanity on a seabed of festering sewage courtesy of Ms Therese ‘Nelly the Effluent’ Coffey and the water companies, ruled by yet another unelected prime minister who only got the gig because his predecessor didn’t outlast the shelf life of a lettuce. How did it all come to this?

Some would say bread and circuses are to blame for our lack of outrage, the ancient Roman adage that explains why the French riot at the drop of a beret, whilst we apathetic Brits huddle in our damp overpriced hovels bingeing on ‘Strictly and sneaking a peek at that jungle show in the hope that Farage is force-fed the leftover bottom parts of an ostrich. The fall of Rome may not have happened if the Coliseum had Ant or Dec. (Yes, we still can’t tell you which one is which).

Most of us can’t wait to see the back of 2023, except perhaps fans of Brighton and Hove Albion under love-God Roberto de Zerbi who are thrillingly playing in Europe for the first time ever. 2024 is looking increasingly like it may be a bit more retro, with the return of the mullet hair ‘do, Uggs and that throwback to the more recent past, the return of Lord Cameron of Porkington Norton (or whatever made up title they’ve bestowed on ‘Ding Dong’ Dave) to the cabinet.

There are other portents of a return to the past such as a new look New Labour with a Blairite figurehead who makes the aforesaid Macmillan look like a dangerous lefty. The Lib Dems hope someone will finally recognise their leader in public and in Brighton Pavilion we bid a sad farewell to a brilliant MP in Caroline Lucas. Up against her hopeful successor, Sian Berry and vying to be Labour’s candidate at the next election is a brilliant campaigner and Mercury prize winning musician Tom Gray and a certain Crystal Palace supporting comedian. (NB: Love Eddie/Suzy, but a Palace fan as Brighton MP? No thank you.) If not Sian, Tom would make a fine MP.

No round up of the year is complete here at Treason Towers without nominating our Rear of the Year. No, not the celeb with the nicest bottom which is not de rigueur these days. We mean the actual rear of the year as in a complete arse. The nominations are: Suella Braverman for presumptively claiming to speak for the nation; Farage for well…being Farage; Liz Truss for having the self awareness of a leafy comestible; Russell Brand, Laura Kuenssberg and Elon Musk. Whilst all would be worthy Rear’s of the Year, the winner by a short goose-step is Cruella Barverman for making Enoch Powell look like Martin Luther King.

Finally, if the same political clown-car charabanc is still rolling this time next year I fully expect to compose my end-of-year round-up ensconced in a backwards facing jacket in the corner of a white bouncy room. Watch this space or better still come and see The Treason Show’s: That Was The Year That Was at Ironworks, Brighton 27-29 Dec and NYE at Ropetackle, Shoreham.
So, here’s to the passing of the old and the bringing of the new-ish in the hope that “things can only get better”. Now where have we heard that before?

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By Mark Brailsford

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