How to keep cool when everyone else is losing theirs

Hot isn’t it? Half of us are skipping around in shorts with big smiles and nice tans, while the rest of us are trudging around looking like we’ve just spent the weekend with Charlie Sheen! It is hot. And some of us are dealing with it better than others. Luckily, we’ve got a few tips to make the heat a little more bearable.

Preparation

When the weatherman is giving us all a sly smirk, as he announces another day of soaring temperatures, don’t just sit there grumbling. Get yourself prepared! Fill up the freezer. Put liquids in there – cold drinks, freezer blocks, ice cubes, etc. If you need to cook food, do it in the morning to avoid heating up the house any more than necessary later. If your home faces the sunrise, tie back the curtains on that side. Open windows that don’t have any sun on them, then shut them when the light moves around. Get some cotton bed linen with a low thread count as well.

Turn stuff off

Your TV, lights, chargers, adaptors, and computers all create heat. So, turn off what you don’t need. Don’t try to freeze clothing or bedding either, that’ll just make your freezer work harder and generate even more heat.

Keep hydrated

This is essential. Your body requires liquid to regulate its temperature. Keep sipping water all day. It doesn’t need to be cold, just wet.

Take frequent cold showers

This is self-explanatory really. You can also just stick your head under a cold tap for a few seconds to cool off. Do be aware that operating electronic equipment becomes a lot more exciting when you’re spending your day in a state of perpetual moistness. I’ve shocked myself twice while typing this. But I am at a comfortable temperature. Putting your feet in a bucket of cold water also works really well.

Treat yourself

The occasional ice cream won’t do you much harm. But don’t think inhaling a family box of Magnums will keep you cool. The sugar content will raise your internal temperature, as well as making you feel bloated. To be honest, you’re better off just leaving the box on your forehead.

Keep cold things close by

In winter you all use (well, most of you over the age of 40) hot water bottles, and the same principle works in reverse. Get a very cold thing and clutch it tightly for some quick relief. Anything from a bag of frozen peas to Ann Widdecombe’s soul should radiate enough cold to provide some temporary cooling. If you can clutch these items between your wrists or ankles, where the blood vessels travel closer to the surface of the skin, it should transfer some frosty vibes around your whole body. And it’s a great way to defrost your dinner!

Air-Con

Who needs expensive air conditioning? To create a similar effect, place a bottle of frozen water in front of an electric fan and it’ll blow lovely cool air over you for a couple of hours. Make sure you have another water bottle sat in the freezer getting ready for the next session, and you can tag-team your way through the day. If you’re feeling musically inclined, you can also place your face close to the fan and sing along to a beloved pop banger, to generate a ghetto-fabulous funky voice effect. It’s 1976 all over again baby. If you really have air conditioning, don’t set it below 20°C.